Some of these things may or may not have happened to me this year or in years past. The names have been changed during this recreation in order to protect the innocent or just the stupid guilty.
Please follow some basic rules for a safe and sane holiday:
1. Do not drink and drive.
2. Do not smoke crack and drive.
3. Make sure you have enough toilet paper at home in case guests come over.
4. Do NOT shoot anyone.
5. If you serve cheese and crackers, buy new cheese. Death from eating moldy cheese is [...]
Reports of high-pitched, siren-like sounds and flashing lights accompanied a vision seen by many in our University Place neighborhoods Friday night. Around 7:15, this reporter heard strange noises coming from an easterly direction, toward Bridgeport Way. Over a thirty-minute period, these sounds came closer and with them, flashing colorful lights. It was a sight I have not [...]
I don’t know if you’ve heard and you probably haven’t but there’s a new holiday coming up. You may not have heard of it cause I am just now making it up. It’s called “Honk For It America!”
Duke Stern said holiday shopping sucks. Stephanie Stephens said bah humbug. They’re both right.
I had to go to The Optical Shoppe at Fred Meyer, located on the banks of the brown Puyallup River today to get my screwed up new glasses reordered. I don’t think my prescription was wrong, I think the glasses were screwed [...]
Rusty George Creative has gone about establishing some real keen holidays we can all enjoy. Now, if we can get the government to officially observe these as national holidays, we could possibly have more time to stay home and watch Twilight Zone marathons on TV Land.
Check out the clever holiday ideas at http://www.rustygeorge.com/WeirdHoliday/ If you [...]
