My spouse was diagnosed as being bi-polar 15 years ago. She would not accept responsibility for what was going on in her life, but rather took the “If you were a better husband/if you did this/if you had NOT done that I would not have this problem to begin with. Bi-Polar disorder is a disease, not something that happens to you because your spouse bounced a check in 1989.

She refused to take any meds at first, then decided later on that indeed meds were good and even better if you take a lot of them at once. If that’s not enough, you can buy meds off the internet  from different places around the country without a prescription and just have a cabinet full of drugs of various colors and types and your doctor doesn’t have to know anything! She enjoyed that a lot until I found all the drugs and confronted her with the question as to why she was getting the same prescription (and others) from places like Long Island, NY, Raymond WA, and various little mom and pop pharmacies in Florida and Alabama. I should have seen the signs right there: “My doctor said it was ok and anyway, it’s my right to take drugs when I want.” I guess I didn’t see the signs…

Then last summer she was encouraged by a loser/friend whom she works with named Wendy to go out with her a couple times a week for some wine after work. After all, “it helps relax you.” Well, that’s what she told me, as well as “I work hard all week. It’s my right to go out once in a while.”  I was seeing the signs but codependency and “enabling” already had it’s grip on me.

I had to watch my wife crash…. One of the ugliest things you’ll ever see. Like someone getting their brains blown out in slow motion. On May 8th, along with a female counselor we have seen many times in the past and my two young adult sons, we had an intervention. It was ugly too.. Suddenly all the choices she made were my fault again “if you had been a better husband……….” She was driven off to an inpatient clinic in Kirkland, Washington where she is going to be for the forseeable future. She hates my guts now, thinks I’m a horrible husband and father and most of all, I’m just plain f*cking mean and I don’t understand her feelings or needs.

I have filed for a legal separation for the protection of myself and my sons who are with me. I’m not mean. If I wanted to be mean I could have just filed for divorce… I’m trying to give her a chance… But she’s only got so many chances.

When you start f*cking around with pills, pot, other drugs or when you drink that beer and tell yourself over and over again, “hey it’s just a beer,” it’s not just a beer. It’s something that could potentially f*ck up your life forever, not to mention the family and friends you trample in the process.

Think twice before you mess with your head… There’s a single dad and two boys in University Place who are the victims of someone who did not think twice…

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