The driver that stops in the middle of traffic to let arterial lanes enter into traffic. This can be from side streets or entering from shopping areas, convenience stores etc. NO, KEEP TRAFFIC MOVING, YOU F**KING MORONS!! I shout, as I honk my car horn. I hate these ass wipes and I let them know with my car horn and my loud, angry voice, middle finger wave and my angriest f**ck off and die facial expressions.

The freeway hostess – who slows down to let people merge into her lane. NOT when it is bumper to bumper traffic, but at 55 MPH. She slows down to 25 MPH to allow others to get in front of her. Such kindness! It not only spreads joy to the merging traffic, but raises insurance rates I am certain. BITCH! Move The Hell Over and Get Out of The Way of Progress! Again, my meanest f**k off & die facial expression and middle finger wave, accompanied by the extended horn honking, lets the stupid cow know that she needs to turn in her driver license and get a skateboard.

Sanford & Son meet the Fresh Prince of Bel Air and decide to have a Sunday-go-to-meetin’ in the middle of the parking lot of Albertson’s while you are trying to enter or exit. Hey! Find a parking place and then go talk over a bucket of chicken about whatever you have to say. Just get the f**k out of the way!!! Certain people have always felt entitled to behave however they wanted and never learned proper social behavior. Remember the days when we didn’t need SWAT Teams in University Place?

The make-up artist. The woman who stops at the light to fix her lipstick or eye shadow. She doesn’t pay attention when the light turns green. I honk my horn. She drops her lipstick. She gives me an angry look in her rearview mirror, as if.  F**k You, Bitch! Figure it out before you leave the house!

The Garbage Pail Family. The mini van filled with the 3 unruly kids, mom on the cell phone, and boyfriend [baseball cap on backward, playing video game] sitting in the passenger seat. The kids are unbuckled. Mom is reaching back to grab her purse, not the kid who is crawling farther back into the van or the one who has a leg dangling out the side window. The van swerves and slows. I honk and slow down to avoid hitting them. Boyfriend doesn’t move, except his two thumbs. I yell out “Mother F**ker” and honk as I go by. Just to let her know that I have branded that wack ass bitch as one of the Top Idiot Drivers of the Pacific Northwest.

This list is a work in progress. If anyone is selling a certain bumper sticker at a reasonable price, let me know. I need this affixed to my car. Something that says, maybe: Stupid Drivers Can F**k Off & Die.

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