The biggest day of the year for retailers and pick-pockets. The worst day for store clerks and security personnel. Black Friday is here again.

Attention Shoppers: We have 3 of the 42-inch TVs in stock. These sell for $199 each. Please converge in an orderly manner to the electronics department.

Sorry, our ATM is down. But there is an ATM down the street, inside the Safeway store.

Attention Shoppers: As you hurry into the store to take advantage of the savings on the limited quantities of items advertised, please take a moment to stop and say Good Morning to the Greeters at the doors in front of the store.

Check-out aisle 8 is now open for all shoppers paying for their purchases with coins being carried in coffee cans.

Attention Shoppers: The 2 for 1 sale applies to packages of Oreo cookies, not the DSi seen in our advertising flyer this week. Our bad!

Attention Security: Please report to the video and electronics department. Stat!

Related posts:

  1. University Place the next Gary, Indiana? University Place is becoming more ghetto-like as apartments and lower...
  2. Not Enabling The “Disabled” It irks me to see the people who waddle up to...
  3. Warning! Warning! Hand Sanitizer Shortage! Sorry, I just like to make people freak out. I...
  4. They Are All Weenies! Final word on my quarrel with Albertsons and the Oscar...
  5. Bah Humbug Was Right Duke Stern said holiday shopping sucks. Stephanie Stephens said bah...