Has the career of pitchman Vince Shlomi bounced back? I flipped on the digital HD television this morning and there he was, hawking the Slap Chop. It chops veggies as easily as a John slaps a hooker who is biting into his schlong. Vince uglied up the skank a bit during the altercation earlier this year, but he took his lumps also. These incidents are kept private when they happen to you. But for a celebrity like Vince, this can ruin a career. Not sure about a money back guarantee on the Slap Chop, but Vince should have gotten his money back from South Beach hooker, Sasha Harris. Ouch!!

Everytime I feel a twitch or twinge and start to think it may be the onset of heart attack or stroke, I consider whether I should see a doctor and get some of that new medicine advertised on TV. Then they tell me the potential side effects: Nausea - Drowsiness - Dizziness - Constipation - Dry mouth - Headaches - Diarrhea - Insomnia - Fatigue - Loss of appetite - Sore throat or runny nose - Weakness - Sweating - Vomiting - Coughing - Shakiness (tremors) - Frequent urination - Muscle pain - Angina - Sexual side effects, including ejaculation problems, a decreased sex drive (libido), erectile dysfunction (ED or impotence), and orgasm problems - Blurred vision - Anxiety - Weight loss or weight gain - Hot flashes - Yawning - Abdominal pain (or stomach pain) - Vertigo (a spinning sensation) - Gas - Chills - a physical deformity of the penis. What!?!?!? I feel fine. Going for a long walk along Chambers Bay this afternoon.

By the way, Gig Harbor snobs like to refer to the area as “the Harbor”. La-DEE-daaaaaaa!! I think we should call the Chambers Bay area, the area along the golf course, “the Bay” or maybe, the Bay 98467.

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