There is a lot of debate about this topic.  When is the right time?  Is there a right time?  Is there a right person?  How will you know?  Should you get a prenup?  Should you have a ceremony?  Should you just elope? 

If you’re a woman you might think that if you’re pregnant you should marry that guy cause you’re in love and he says he loves you and after all you’re having a baby!  That is not a reason to get married.  If you have been together for years and you figure why not?  That’s not a reason, there are probably reasons behind all of those years together not married.  If you think that marrying the guy you’re with is a way to keep him with you.  You’re wrong.  A guy that gets married before he’s ready will be no more true to you than if you waited until he was.

If you’re a man you may feel like marrying a girl is the only way to keep her.  She may be the prettiest girl you’ve ever had.  If you tie the knot for this reason, you will surely fail.  If you marry a girl because that’s what she wants you will be unhappy and the marriage will either not last or will be a miserable union.

The truth is there is no timeline set in stone as to when is the best time to get hitched.  You have to know the person in and out.  Well, as best as you possibly can.  You see people only reveal themselves as they want to.  They only let you know about them what they want you to know.  If you think of things differently, shift your paradigm if you will.  Think that you truly can trust no one.  No one is totally what they seem to be.  Now don’t go crazy with this ideal, if you do you will surely be alone.  If you never let your guard down you will never find love even when it staring you in the face. 

You have to find a balance.  Don’t just believe everything, yet don’t distrust everything either.  You must let yourself be vulnerable to a certain degree.

I think men and women get married for different reasons.  For women I think (the good girls) get married because they feel they are in love and believe that their guy loves them and they want the fairytale life.  The white picket fence and beautiful children with little league and ballet classes, camping trips, family pictures, family vacations, and a family dog.

For guys I think most of them get married because they feel that is what they are supposed to do.  I don’t think any man in today’s society truly wants to get married.  The thought of marriage is completely contrary to everything that today’s man is accustomed to.  It means you’re no longer able to fornicate with any woman you see.  You are “stuck” with the same woman for the rest of your life.  For a lot of men nowadays, I think marriage sounds more like a death sentence than a fairy tale.

There are a lot of reasons for this.  For some men, they just aren’t really happy with the woman they are with.  For other’s it’s a trust issue.  They don’t trust women, maybe because of previous relationships or a troubled childhood with their own mother.  I think for the majoirty of men though, it’s because of maturity.

If you are a smart self sufficient woman, I don’t think you should worry about when you are going to get married.  Just let it happen.  Make your own life the way you had intended and when and if Mr. Right comes along, you’ll know.  I would hope that this wouldn’t be prior to you getting yourself stable in a carreer.

For a man, I’m not too sure as I am not a man.  If you are the kind of guy that enjoys a woman’s company but finds himself annoyed by the little things your girl does like shopping, or talking on the phone, you are not ready and may never be.  You don’t have to get married to be happy. 

You should never get married for fear of being alone.  You should be able to maintain a happy life married or not wether you are a man or a woman.  Afterall, you could be marrying someone that is not interested in having the same kind of life as you are but they are not willing to say so because they feel that they are supposed to want those things.  It’s better to be alone until you know for sure or are to the point in life where you are willing to sacrifice your happiness for another’s (which is never a good idea).  I don’t think anyone should get married unless they have really thought it through and talked it over both the good and bad points.  Marriage is not all chocolates and roses.

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