So, I just got done watching some videos on youtube about weight loss.  I knew that it was hard, that’s why I made a commitment to lose weight like 6 months ago, and I’m still fat.  It’s just not fair.  We can sit on the couch and eat a bag of chips or a twinkie and it’s so easy.  It’s when we look in the mirror and start the self hate that it really hits you.  Then you decide to do something about it like I did 6 months ago.  I joined the YMCA with my boyfriend.

At first we went a lot and we really liked it, then life took over and laziness.  We work A LOT!  We run an internet business and it is like the post office, it NEVER STOPS!  So, working out took a backseat and the laptops and the couch became the driver of our lives.  For my boyfriend it’s no big deal cause he is naturally thin.  I on the other hand, am naturally normal like the rest of the world.  I eat, I get fat (over time).

In my earlier years I weighed about 120 lbs.  I never had a chiseled body though, and I have very pale skin to go with this blonde hair and these blue eyes.  I never have looked the way that I wanted to.  I never have really worked at it long enough to make the right changes and to make them stick.

Well, here comes another summer and I am sick of hiding behind baggy clothes.  I have gained about 15 lbs in the past two years.  Most of the weight comes from poor diet and laziness.  I can’t stand it anymore!  I am depressed about the weight and that makes me want to eat more, and I do.  Not in quantity really, but the choices I make on what to eat are fully based upon emotion.  I eat cause I am hungry, and or bored and I eat whatever the hell I want cause I feel like crap anyway. 

Since about a month ago I have hit a weight that I have only ever weighed when I was about 6 months pregnant and I don’t have that as an excuse now.  So I am going to do something about it NOW!  I have very little time until summer and I refuse to cover up or be self conscientious about weight this summer.  I still pay for that gym membership that I never use and I think it’s time I got something for all that money!

I also have a couple of other ideas in mind about how I am going to do it.  I will not be sharing those at this time but if I actually am able to complete this goal I will spill the beans.  I figure the financial investment in this weight loss trial is going to be around $200.00.  I plan to start this new little idea of mine next weekend.  Payday is Friday and I won’t be journaling my progress on the site, but if I start to see some results I will start to share my secrets of success.

One thing I know is that I can not do something as boring as just going to the Y everyday alone.  I have to do something more upbeat and something that changes so I am not doing the same boring thing everyday.  I tire of that easily.  I will not be totally calorie counting either but I will be smart about the food choices I make so I don’t waste my own time and effort.

There will not be any pills or quick fix schemes this time around, it’s going to be hard work, but I will do my best to keep it fun too!  Right now, I’m going to Jack In The Box it’s about 2am and I am hungry.  This will all change come next Friday.  It’s May 1st and it’s already getting sunny outside so there’s not much time left.  Wish me luck! I hate discipline……

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