On my way home from the Tacoma Mall today my boyfriend and I saw a truck displaying an artificial pair of testicles.  I have had it! This is crazy, I don’t even want to know what other red neck, back woods, hick fad people will come up with next. 

To me, hanging this from your vehicle does not display your likeness of manhood.  It tells me the size of your brain.  For the sake of argument I will assume it’s mainly men that are doing this.  I know it’s been done for a while, when I lived up north in Edmonds I would see this all around.  Hated it then, still hate it to this day.  I think it’s idiotic!  Honestly, unless this is a joke and a bad one at that what would drive someone to do this?

Generally these “nuts” (yelch!) are found hanging from the back of jacked up trucks.  Now we all know who drives jacked up trucks, the same guys that drive sports cars (generally).  Guys that are trying to compensate for something they are lacking.  Now, if that is true what are you tasteless morons telling the world?  That not only are you worried about being a short guy, that’s why you got the big truck as a distraction right?  So all of us girls would think you’re tough. Now you are blatantly making a statement loud and clear that you have other more personal “short” comings, or inadequacies.  Ha!  I think that’s hilarious!!

I wonder if the guys that display these things know that’s what us girls are thinking.  Tell me guys, after hanging your “nuts” did your date worthisness increase?  Did you notice after you hung the nuts on the truck that the girls just couldn’t stay away?  They were just breaking down your door weren’t they?  Yeah right! LOL! You are no better with the nuts than you were before you purchased them.  You didn’t increase your value to any woman worth keeping.  Unless you got taller, better looking, or more wealthy from buying these ridiculous things, you are still the same old lonely loser you were before. 

Here’s a suggestion, instead of spending $25-$50 dollars on the nuts why not return them and get a good self-help book.  Start with something simple like, “How Humans Evolved” by Robert Boyd and Joan B. Silk.  It might help you to understand that you are living in the 21st century and not the dark ages.
Until then, you might want to head on over to the Wal-Mart, I think they just paged you.

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